You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
