i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
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Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
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having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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