His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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