he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
