I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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