They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
