chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
