i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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