New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
