she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
