she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
