were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
