I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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