just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
