"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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