I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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