So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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