turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Text me some of your sweat
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
