I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
