Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
