i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
