you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize