i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
