i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I supernannyed him into submission
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
