Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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