I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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