Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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