it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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