Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
