What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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