Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
