party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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