You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
