what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
