You can't special order awesome
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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