whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
