The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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