Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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