This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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