this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
