but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
