Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
