I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
