hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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