What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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