:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
