so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
