Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Im part way to drunk.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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