he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
