She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
