Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
