hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
