So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
