come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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