The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
