goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
