i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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