Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
