everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Fuck appropriateness.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
