Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
