He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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