I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
