You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
