So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
