He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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